i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
