Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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