drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
