Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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