Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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