You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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