im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
