I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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