I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
