I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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