No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
