Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
