better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
