Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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