imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
