a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
