Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
