god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
