So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
