Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
