Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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