Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You can't motorboat a personality
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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