So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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