i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
