he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
