i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
