please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
