bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
