I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
