it wasn't lemon gatorade
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
