walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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