why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
