I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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