i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
