I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
