my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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