there was a trapeze. enough said
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
