You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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