i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
