I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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