I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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