Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
