There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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