That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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