I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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