I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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