I want to stick my p in your. b.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize