Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
