Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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