Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
